Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?
一些人认为孩子应该在很小的年龄就开始正式的教育，应该把大部分时间花在学习上。有人则认为孩子应该多花时间玩。比较这两种观点。你同意哪种观点？为什么？
Education has always been prioritised in one’s life. While it can be acceptable that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and spend most of their time on school studies，I would argue that it is a better idea for them to devote more time to playing in childhood.
上海朗阁雅思点评:直接点题，亮出自己的想法。
Admittedly，children who begin to study at an early age might have more chances to succeed in this increasingly knowledge-based society. They may acquire more knowledge and experience which are priceless and precious in terms of job hunting.
上海朗阁雅思点评:先承认早上学的孩子是有一定的好处的。
However，every child should enjoy his or her childhood which should be joyful and carefree.There are many tragedies happening in China as a result of being forced to study hard. In addition,playing have a range of benefits. First，children can foster such basic and essential qualities as cooperation, self-confidence and a good sense of humor by playing. Also，playing gives them a clear perspective of win and lose. Furthermore，children at their early ages need more exercise because at this age the development of their body is a very essential aspect. Children first of all must be healthy. Last but not the least，children should spend more time with their family, playing and learning with their parents. It is especially valuable in such times when families are not as close as before.
上海朗阁雅思点评:However笔锋一转，表示孩子们更应该保持自己玩乐的天性。这种写作思路应加以借鉴。
To sum up，I think children should have their careless childhood with no responsibilities.Moreover，I am sure that playing helps them develop not only their bones and muscles but their abilities to make decisions，analyse things and make conclusions，which are very valuable for their future.
上海朗阁雅思点评:再次重申自己为何要支持上述观点，总结全文。a dmit t ed ly, however和to sum up使整篇文章脉络非常清晰。
